TRUE STORIES
Here is a small sampling of the stories we have received so far. We need more in order to compel a publisher to join our mission and get a book into the mainstream market.
We need YOUR story!
Daniel
The night before I attended first grade, my mother told me "all the other boys" in school were circumcised. She added that from this point on, I would be responsible for cleaning under my foreskin. If I failed, the skin could "grow together" and I'd have to be circumcised. I wasn't sure what circumcision was. I guessed the doctor would cut off my whole penis!
The next day, I lined up to urinate at the trough-style urinals with my classmates. This was the first time I'd ever seen other boys' penises. I noticed they all had their glans exposed, so I peeled my foreskin open to be like them. Then I saw them put their penises away without closing the foreskin. I knew that would be uncomfortable, so I closed my foreskin, then my zipper. Only then did I realize they'd all had their warm, protective skins cut away, and I was the only one to keep mine -- just like Mom had said.
I also knew I had a secret to keep. Conformity is everything in the school setting.
Also, I felt lucky. The other boys' glandes looked dead, dull, dry, while mine looked soft, moist, and alive. I tried to imagine how theirs felt to them in that state. It couldn't be as tingly and pleasant as the sensations I enjoyed. I didn't know what I'd be doing with my penis in the future. I just knew I had something good that the other boys didn't.
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Antonio
On the day I was born, I was taken from my mother to sit under lights due to jaundice. When I was returned to her, my diaper was soaked in blood and she learned that I had been cut. I’m assuming it was “informed consent” and all my mother did was sign some papers without reading, but I don’t want to look into it further.
As a child, I instinctively knew something was wrong. I would try to pull the remaining skin over the glans because it felt “right.” When I discovered masturbation, I also attempted to do it the way a man naturally does: by moving the skin up and down. Due to my foreskin amputation, this obviously didn’t work well and I ended up with bleeding friction wounds. No one ever told me I needed lube because of what was done to me, so I assumed masturbation was harmful and that I was doing something bad. At 12 years old, I learned what had happened to me and it hurt me on a deep, existential level. I felt disgusting with my penis bearing a hideous scar instead of what was supposed to be there.
When I became sexually active, sex was disappointing. I felt almost nothing from all manner of sexual activity outside of masturbation (by this point, I discovered the best technique for myself). My partner would complain that I was taking too long and she’d be sore for days afterward. This lead to me searching for tips online to figure out what we were doing wrong, and that’s when I discovered that the most sensitive parts of my penis were removed along with the “gliding action” that reduces friction inside a woman’s vagina. I fell into a deep, dark depression that I still struggle with to this day.
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Hannah
My father was a Jewish surgeon. He was extremely opposed to circumcision. He thought it was wrong on many levels. When I was pregnant with my son, we talked about circumcision. I never considered doing it and the conversation with my parents was very clear that they were both against it. Some people think opposing circumcision is a form of antisemitism but I would urge those people to explore the Intact Jewish Network.
My son was born premature, which meant more time in the hospital and more time exposed to health care providers who continuously pressured me to circumcise my already premature and ill newborn. This was some time ago and parents were forced to leave the NICU (rooming-in is the standard of care now). I stood my ground opposing circumcision and eventually wrote a note on the board and bassinet stating that if they circumcised my son, I would sue them. The happiest day of my life was leaving the NICU.
As my son got older, he eventually noticed that not all the little boys looked the same. He asked me why some boys look "like an ice cream cone". I explained circumcision to him. He thanked me for not doing that to him. As time has gone by and I have learned more about the risks and harm of circumcision, I have become grateful that I was told not to do this, that it isn't done in most other countries.
I have had several surgeries since I became a mother, and the scar tissue always has nerve damage. I think of those poor babies urinating and defecating on an open wound and that this is their introduction to the world. The pain they experience is unthinkable.
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Taylor
Apparently my genetics or physiology activated a relatively high sex drive at puberty. But even before then I was very curious about sex. When I reached the age of being left alone at home, I snooped around like I'm sure a lot of kids do. I found some erotica books in my parents’ room and, to my surprise, a stack of Playboy magazines out in the living room. The only attempt to hide them was a few issues of a science journal on top. I found these fascinating and was especially aroused by the letters to the editor. I showed this stash to my sister one day and we looked at the women together. She thought it was gross.
I feared rejection as a teenager, especially the possibility of ongoing humiliation at my small high school. So instead of pursuing real people, I satisfied my frequent urges with magazines, books and pornographic video on VHS tape. My solo sex life was almost exclusively a visual engagement and I thereby became highly opinionated about the look of both men's and women's bodies, even though seeing them in person wouldn’t happen for a number of years.
I learned what excited me and this changed very little over the decades as I finally commenced dating and a more typical sex life. In a woman, it’s curves. Skinny and petite does nothing for me. Hips and large breasts are my turn-ons. The classic fertility shape. I don't mind if they are considered overweight.
Men absolutely have to be fit, if not muscular. Not bodybuilder size but some bulk and definition are great. Very little body hair but stylish hair on top. And I prefer the look of a circumcised penis as long as the scar isn't visible. What I find most erotic is a long, thick penis with a large exposed tip, especially if it’s symmetrical. One that looks the same whether soft or hard; the only difference is size. It's always ready for action and looks great in action, with no distracting foreskin movement, which I find weird and animalistic.
Again, this is only true if the scar line is basically hidden, tucked in tightly right below the head. I don't know if I find the scar ugly or I feel bad for the guy’s amputation...or maybe both? But I don’t always get what I want and in that case I’d rather there be foreskin covering it up. Then it's just tucked away and less of a turn-off.
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Stephanie
I am a woman. My first sexual partner was uncircumcised. I learned while with him that intact sex was better from researching it online. I wanted to date other intact men after we broke up, but it didn't work out that way. I married a circumcised man and the sex was good, but as we approached our 40s I was having so much chafing and would be in pain for days or weeks.
Sex became terrifying for me, trying to hold on for him to orgasm while trying not to get too injured. If we used a condom it cut down on the chafing a lot but then he didn't feel enough to have an orgasm. My husband was saying he preferred if we just didn't have sex; it was not worth the trouble.
I knew the lack of foreskin glide was probably part of it, from my experience with my first partner (thank goodness for that, otherwise I'm not sure I would have known what was wrong). It took a lot of courage to talk to my husband about foreskin restoration, but I was desperate. I felt like penetrative sex was an important part of our intimacy and didn't want to lose that in our marriage.
He initially pushed back and said I was just suggesting for him to modify his body because of a fetish or something, but he gave it a shot with and within three weeks we were able to have the best sex in years with no pain and more sexual response for him (more natural lube, longer orgasms). He realized that he liked how it was feeling, the skin was not bothering him as he had worried, and he decided to keep going further with restoration. He also bought more devices and tried out a variety (air inflation, etc) but I think he mainly uses weights.
It's been about three months by this point. My husband has enough skin glide that there is zero friction for me and sex is just fun again. He has more control over orgasms and can come within a few seconds when he decides to. It feels better for both of us, and we have had more sex in the past three months than the past three years. Also, my husband says that restoration was a lot less hassle than he was expecting.
It feels more like we are sharing an experience now, and we can focus on each other and not worry so much about the mechanics of the sex (trying not to get chafed, trying to orgasm, etc). The most satisfying thing for me has been seeing my husband satisfied from orgasms -- not like it was just a small hiccup that took him a lot of work to achieve, but like he actually felt something similar to what I feel. I used to feel sorry for him every time I had an orgasm because I had never seen him have anything like that while he was tightly circumcised. He also gets more relaxed after sex and it's nice to cuddle afterwards with the afterglow. With all the problems in the world, at least we finally have the fun, bonding sex that nature intended us to have!
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Javier
I'm an intact/uncircumcised middle-aged man in California. As a kid, I noticed a weird vertical line going up my foreskin, almost like it had been sewn together there like Frankenstein. For a short time I became convinced that I'd suffered some operation on my penis. I even accused my oldest sibling of keeping this family secret from me! Later I found out that anatomical detail is totally normal.
As a young teen in the 1980s, I started feeling like I was BAD different because I didn’t look like my circumcised peers in the locker room. A bit later I figured I would have an impaired future sex life because of all the circumcision featured in pornography, and because of a particular scene from the TV show St. Elsewhere. A man comes up to the doctor portrayed by Ed Begley Jr. at a restaurant and thanks him profusely for the adult circumcision that has saved his relationship with his wife. It's supposed to be comedic relief but my already preoccupied mind took it very seriously.
I vowed to go get cut when I was legally able to but luckily I started really enjoying my foreskin before that happened. Masturbation was easy and pleasurable thanks to the enhanced lubrication and gliding motion of the skin over the tip of my penis. I realized I had more subtle options for stimulation and eventually learned to have very long, controllable orgasms and even multiple orgasms without ejaculation.
My intact penis also helped multiple female partners have vagina-based orgasms (i.e. not clitoris-based) they had never experienced before. Some gave unsolicited feedback that intercourse felt smoother and more enjoyable than with circumcised penises.
Special thanks to my parents for allowing me to keep all my original equipment, just the way I was designed. My father in particular deserves credit for breaking the cycle of violence in our family. He was circumcised but told me he wasn't "into ritual mutilation".
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Michael
I'm an intact male, born in the '60s. I've known two circumcised boys who suffered meatal stenosis -- narrowing of the urethral opening.
One was my nephew. I overheard my mother talking with my sister about it. The boy started having "accidents," leaking urine in his pants at school and at home. He'd start crying when it happened. They thought it was from embarrassment.
What was actually happening: His urethral opening (meatus) was trying to protect itself from exposure by growing closed. (Meatal stenosis is believed to affect 60 percent of circumcised males to some degree.) Scar tissue starts to form along the meatus, and it's tender at first. As my nephew urinated, the hot liquid "burned" the new scar tissue -- which made him not want to urinate again. So he started holding back to avoid the pain, until he couldn't hold it anymore, and it released itself, bringing the pain on anyway.
At the doctor, they did the only remedy anyone knows -- stick a scalpel into his urethra to slice open the scar tissue. For days afterward, he wouldn't urinate unless my sister set him in a bathtub of warm water. It hurt every time until the scar tissue healed.
The other boy was a neighbor. I had counseled the expectant parents against circumcision, to no avail. The (very likely circumcised) father stared me down until I left. Four years later, Neighbor 2 told us that Neighbor 1's boy was catheterized and in the hospital. He'd suffered a bladder infection, having held his urine so long that bacteria grew up his urinary tract, causing a fever. When asked why this happened, the doctor told Neighbor 1, "Sometimes boys just hold it too long." I told Neighbor 2 that the doctor was lying. I explained meatal stenosis. I don't think it mattered. Neighbor 2 was a drug company sales rep, trained never to doubt a doctor.
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Jackson
I was adopted and never circumcised. I grew up close with two cousins whom were both circumcised. We bathed together as children and my older cousin noticed my foreskin and would point out how different I was. It made me feel like I didn’t belong (as if being adopted wasn’t bad enough).
I remember a couple of years later as we got older he jokingly said “Well, at least you’ll never have to wear a condom if you have sex!” He was implying that my foreskin would keep anything from happening.
When I was 9, my appendix burst and I was admitted to the hospital and thankfully, I survived. After discovering my body and what my penis was like I found that I could keep my foreskin behind the glans with no problem. When I was a kid it started as an uncomfortable thing but I got used to it and it was fine. This stayed the same and I honestly was basically able to act as a circumcised man from when I was 10 until I decided differently at 30. I had sex with at least 35 women who could not tell I was uncircumcised because the skin stayed back. I washed normally and everything and the skin just stayed back.
One day after the first sexual encounter with my (now) wife…I told her I wasn’t circumcised. She didn’t believe me. Once I pulled my foreskin forward she was amazed. I’ve been with her ever since and she loves it. I told her I have a fetish now because of being called out for it.
At 37 now, I keep my foreskin pulled forward unless I pee. It actually feels nice to not have an exposed head all the time. My wife is so sweet and inviting about it. She accepts my fetish and pulls up the foreskin and licks under it (one of my biggest turn-ons). I’ll admit, having a foreskin in the U.S. still makes me feel like an outsider but she, as well as other women, have been very receptive and fascinated by it once I stopped caring what people think.
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Arthur
I was born towards the end of WWII, on the outskirts of London. The city had seen extensive bombing and the hospitals were overflowing with victims from the Blitz. Consequently, I was delivered at home. As it was unusual in those days for midwives to own cars, mine arrived to attend me on her bicycle.
A few days later she returned on her bike to carry out my circumcision. Naturally, she carried with her the barest essentials to assist in plying her trade, which meant she wasn’t encumbered, unfortunately for me, by carrying a restrainer with her. During the procedure, carried out without anesthetic, and no doubt in protest to the pain, I kicked out. My foot contacted with her scalpel-wielding hand, directing the blade across the soft delicate flesh on the underside of my infant penis, where it made a deep incision that required several stitches.
Consequently, during my ensuing development, I found naturally occurring erections wretchedly painful and relief would only come by way of massage, soothing the heavy scarring. Of course, during puberty and adolescence I soothed as often as possible. Suffice it to say, however, the scarring has made restoration difficult and generally, I like to think, stunted my growth!
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Phillip
I was circumcised quite late in my life as a young, gay adult. I had difficulty fully discovering my glans in erection. It was neither a cultural choice nor an aesthetic choice.
When I was a teenager, I thought it was abnormal for my glans to be covered. My father was circumcised himself and I thought my glans should be like his. When I was told I was going to be circumcised, I was almost happy to anticipate finally looking ‘normal’.
Only part of the foreskin was cut off. The first few days after the medical circumcision, the glans was very sensitive and it was uncomfortable in underwear. But over time, no more pain. I was almost happy to no longer have the glans so sensitive, as I, as a child, had great difficulty cleaning my foreskin because of the pain. I ended up understanding that nature has kept my glans protected, and it's not for nothing.
My companion is himself intact, and I see a real difference in appearance: his glans is very pink, smooth and moist. Mine is rough, dry and a darker pink. Over time, I was able to understand during our sexual relations that he has much more sensation than me: sliding the foreskin over the glans gives him a lot of pleasure, he is very sensitive when I lick him. Mine is much less sensitive. I think I have a lot less pleasure, less nuance. I regret my operation very much.
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Ellen
I am so glad that this forum exists, and that you are spreading the word to educate people.
In 1980 my then husband and I were happily expecting our first child. This was before the time when everyone knew the gender of their baby-to-be. Labor and delivery were relatively easy, and we soon had a 7 lb baby boy in our arms.
The next morning, medical staff came in the room, with clipboard in hand, and a release for us to sign for the circumcision. This took me by surprise, I am ashamed to say I had not given it much thought, and I felt pressured to make this decision in a matter of hours. We bounced back and forth and asked our trusted friends and family members for their opinions and experiences.
It was not an easy decision, but with the lack of resources (pre-internet) we opted for circumcision, and I immediately regretted it. They brought him to us following the procedure and it was easily evident he had been traumatized. We, his parents, were supposed to protect him, and day one we allowed, even requested, this trauma to his body.
He will be forty-one this year, and I still see myself in that moment, a young mother, who had not even thought about the decisions to come. If I were to do it again, NEVER would I let, or give permission to anyone, medical staff or not, to injure my child.
Doctors take an oath to first do no harm, I wonder how this falls within that.
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Chris
I was circumcised as an infant. When I was a child, I didn't know that being uncircumcised was even a thing. I thought all penises looked the same, blissfully unaware of what my parents had done to me.
Fast forward to when I was about 14 or 15, I was looking up things on the internet that I'm sure most horny boys going through puberty look up. That's when I discovered what an uncircumcised penis was. I came to the realization that all boys are born with a foreskin, and that my foreskin had been removed. I thought "Well, that's weird. I wonder why". I never asked my parents because I was too ashamed of discussing something so personal and private with them.
Another couple years later, I came across something on the internet of an uncircumcised guy describing how a foreskin feels and how much it helps with his sexual function. I remember the guy going into great detail about the sensations and feelings that were all provided to him by his foreskin, and realizing that I had felt none of that. This is when I became envious of intact guys, and also started becoming a bit angry at my parents for circumcising me. Then I remembered that, since my family is religious, I was probably circumcised just because it was part of our religious culture. I became even more angry that my parents would cut off half of a large portion of my dick just because of their religion. No thought about how it would possibly affect me in the future.
I was furious when I came to this realization. How could they willingly and purposely deprive me of my foreskin and all the pleasure and health benefits that come with a foreskin when it wasn't at all necessary? How could they mutilate such an intimate and sensitive part of me without my permission? I was so angry. With anger, also came an intense feeling of dysphoria. I felt like I had been sexually molested. I hated my penis. I hated my body. I hated my religion. I hated my parents. I so badly wanted to be uncircumcised, but at the time, I never thought I could get it back. Being circumcised affected my mental health so negatively I even contemplated suicide more than once because of it.
Nowadays, at 31 years old, I finally discovered foreskin restoration. I've been researching and am very excited at the prospect of finally regaining what was so maliciously stolen from me. Unfortunately, you can't restore a foreskin 100%. You can't recreate a ridged band or the Meissner’s corpuscles in an original foreskin, but you can still regain 70-90% of the sensations and functions of one. It's all I'll be able to get, but I'm still very optimistic and excited to get back what I can!
I feel I'm obligated to forgive my parents for what they've done to me, given that their religion told them to and/or let themselves be misled by a doctor who didn't know what he was talking about. I haven't forgiven them, and I doubt I ever will. All I can do is just restore my foreskin and move on with my life.